Chiiiile, Please!

When You’re Grown, But Still Being Raised

Chiiiile…Adulthood looked a whole lot sexier when you were 17 and waiting on it to start. Then boom—18 hits, and suddenly everybody thinks you should know how to budget, break generational cycles, file taxes, drink enough water, find your purpose, and stay unbothered—all at the same time. No manual. No pause button. Just vibes and…

Coach C. Gresham
2–3 minutes
,

Chiiiile…
Adulthood looked a whole lot sexier when you were 17 and waiting on it to start.

Then boom—18 hits, and suddenly everybody thinks you should know how to budget, break generational cycles, file taxes, drink enough water, find your purpose, and stay unbothered—all at the same time. No manual. No pause button. Just vibes and expectations.

Let’s be honest: being “grown” doesn’t always feel grown. Especially when you’re stuck in the in-between space—paying bills but still asking your mama how long to boil an egg. Setting boundaries but still feeling guilty when family steps over them. Trying to “find yourself” but feeling pressure to represent your entire culture, family, and social circle in every choice you make.

👀 The Truth About This Transition Season

This is the part no one prepared you for—the emotional growing pains that happen after the cap and gown. When you’re legally adult but still emotionally figuring out who TF you are. And that’s okay.

In fact, this is the season where you’re still being raised—not by your parents necessarily, but by your experiences, your choices, your self-awareness. Life is now your teacher. You are still shaping the woman you’re becoming. And there’s no shame in needing guidance while you do it.

Let’s normalize not knowing. Let’s normalize trying and failing. Let’s normalize saying, “I thought I was ready, but I’m learning as I go.”

💬 Let’s Talk About the Pressure

A lot of young Black women are carrying an invisible curriculum:

  • Be independent, but don’t forget where you came from.
  • Be soft, but not too sensitive.
  • Be driven, but not too ambitious.
  • Be proud, but humble.
  • Be healed, even when you haven’t had the space to rest.

It’s exhausting. So if you feel conflicted—between who you are and who they expect you to be—you’re not crazy. You’re not immature. You’re in transition. And transitions are messy, sacred, and confusing all at once.

🔍 Reflection Questions:

  1. Where do I feel the most pressure to “have it together”?
  2. What expectations have I inherited that no longer fit who I’m becoming?
  3. In what ways am I still looking for permission to grow, change, or rest?

💡 Final Word, Sis

Being grown doesn’t mean being done. You don’t have to know everything to be worthy of grace. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay just to keep the image. And you definitely don’t have to walk this path alone.

You are allowed to still be learning. You are allowed to ask for help. You are allowed to outgrow the versions of yourself—and others—that no longer align.

You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

See you tomorrow for Tea & Truth Tuesday.
We’re talking about what no one teaches us about adulting—but expects us to master.

With truth & tenderness,
Coach G
@ProvokeChange
Chiiiile Please Blog

Leave a comment

Trending