Chiiiile, Please!

Hey Sweet Friend, let’s get tender today. 🫶🏾

So, Tuesday’s truth about consequences and blame might have hit a little close to home. Maybe you’re sitting with some feelings – maybe resistance, maybe recognition, maybe a mix of both. That’s okay. Today, let’s talk gently about why we reach for blame so quickly when life serves us a bitter cup. It feels instinctive, doesn’t it? When disappointment hits, when shame creeps in, or when things just plain fall apart, pointing the finger outward – at our partner, our boss, our upbringing, the system, even the universe itself – feels like instant relief. It’s like a shield we throw up: “It’s not MY fault! Look over THERE!” We convince ourselves that if we can just prove it was their mistake, their issue, their failing, then we won’t have to feel the sting of our own responsibility. Chile, it’s a survival tactic, pure and simple. Our egos scramble to protect us from the perceived threat of failure or inadequacy. 

Here’s the compassionate truth we need to sip slowly: Blaming others is often a cry of pain, not a sign of malice. It springs from fear – fear of being wrong, fear of being unworthy, fear of the discomfort that comes with true accountability. It feels safer in the moment to make someone else the “bad guy” than to sit with the vulnerable realization that we contributed to a situation that hurts. Think about it: admitting “I chose this path, even partially, and it led to pain” requires incredible courage. It requires facing our own humanity, our imperfections, and our capacity to misstep. That kind of honesty can feel terrifying. Blame? Blame feels like armor. 

But here’s the spiritual reality we can’t ignore: That armor is made of lead. While blaming might offer a fleeting sense of vindication, it ultimately weighs us down and traps us. Every time we point the finger outward, we hand over our power. We become prisoners of circumstance, forever at the mercy of what others “did to us.” We stay stuck in the story of the victim, endlessly replaying the hurt, unable to move forward because we’re waiting for someone else to fix it, apologize, or change. Meanwhile, our spirit, which craves growth and freedom, withers. True peace and progress don’t live in the land of blame; they live in the sacred space of radical responsibility. This isn’t about taking blame for everything that happens (life throws curveballs!), but about owning your response, your choices within the situation, and your power to choose differently moving forward. 

So, how do we start putting down this heavy shield? It begins with a gentle, conscious shift in perspective. Instead of asking, “Who *made* this happen?” or “Who *made* me feel this way?”, try asking, “How did *I* respond?” or “What choice did *I* make in this situation?” See the difference? The first question keeps you powerless and focused on others. The second brings your power back *home* – to your thoughts, your feelings, your actions. It opens the door to self-awareness, learning, and ultimately, liberation. This isn’t about beating yourself up; it’s about **freeing yourself up**. When you take responsibility for your piece, you reclaim the energy spent on resentment and redirect it towards healing and creating the change you truly desire. Spirit walks this path with you, offering grace for the past and strength for each new, conscious choice. You weren’t meant to carry the weight of blame, love. Put it down. Breathe. Step into your power. 

Gentle Shift Prompt:
The next time you feel the urge to blame someone else for a tough situation, pause. Take one deep breath. Ask yourself: “What was my role here? What choice did I make? How can I own my part without shame?” Notice the space this creates. That space is where your growth lives. 

With tender love,
Coach G
@ProvokeChange
Chiiiile Please Blog