Chiiiile… I say this with love, but I say it with my whole chest:
If you keep complaining about it, keep crying over it, keep praying about it — but won’t change it — then whether you admit it or not… you’re choosing it.
And before you get mad, hear me. This ain’t about blaming you for your pain. This ain’t about acting like healing happens overnight or that choices are always easy. No, this is about radical honesty — the kind that sets you free from the patterns you keep pretending are out of your control. Because the truth is, sometimes the thing breaking your heart the most is also the thing you keep making space for.
We don’t like to admit when we’re choosing dysfunction.
We call it “giving grace.” We call it “being patient.” We call it “trying again.”
But when the pattern repeats, the boundary breaks, the peace leaves, and you’re still there — sis, that’s not just the situation hurting you. That’s you not honoring you.
What you don’t change, you normalize.
What you don’t confront, you start to excuse.
What you allow again and again… becomes your responsibility.
And I know that sounds heavy, but chile — there is so much power in naming it.
When you realize that you’ve got the power to break cycles, shift your story, and stop participating in what’s wounding you — that’s when the healing actually begins.
You’re not stuck. You’re scared. You’re not weak. You’re tired.
But those are all things you can move through.
Let’s talk accountability for a second — not the kind that shames, but the kind that shakes you out of denial.
If you’re always the one showing up, always the one bending, always the one silencing your needs — that’s not just their pattern. That’s your permission.
And it’s time to take it back.
You don’t have to live in cycles. You don’t have to explain yourself to people who only hear you when it’s convenient. You don’t have to keep turning the other cheek to pain you’ve already survived once.
You are allowed to change the story. You are allowed to choose different.
So today’s Tea and Truth is this:
You are powerful.
And that power includes the right to walk away, speak up, pivot, start fresh, say no, end it, block it, change it — or simply become unavailable to it.
Because if it’s not love, not peace, not truth, not growth —
then you do not have to keep choosing it.
✍🏾 Journal Prompt
- What patterns have I been participating in that I know I need to change?
- Where am I still choosing pain out of comfort, fear, or habit?
- What would it look like to choose myself — even if it costs me something familiar?
💛 Affirmation
I choose alignment over attachment.
I choose peace over patterns.
I have the power to shift, heal, and release what no longer serves me.
I am not stuck. I am choosing wisely — starting today.
🙏🏾 Prayer
God, give me the strength to confront what I’ve been avoiding.
Help me recognize the difference between what I’m enduring and what I’m choosing.
Show me the places where I’ve let fear keep me in cycles, and grant me the courage to walk away from anything that no longer reflects Your will for me.
I don’t want to just pray for healing — I want to live in it.
Teach me how to choose myself in ways that honor You.
Let this be the day I stop calling dysfunction “familiar” and start calling freedom “mine.”
Amen.
Chiiiile, Please! 
Leave a comment