Chiiiile, Please!

Let me just go ahead and snatch the covers off this today, chile: a red flag is not a cute accessory. It’s a warning.

And I say this with love because I have been there, and I have coached too many people who’ve been there — squinting hard at bad behavior, calling it “potential,” calling it “healing,” calling it “complicated,” when deep down you KNOW it’s a flashing light saying, “Baby, turn around. This road leads to nowhere but heartbreak.”

But here’s the thing nobody tells you when you’re in it: we don’t ignore red flags because we’re foolish. We ignore them because we’re hoping. Hoping we’ll be the one they change for. Hoping love can fix what only accountability and growth can. Hoping that if we just hold on a little longer, they’ll rise into the version we see in our dreams — even if the reality in front of us is crumbling.

Red flags look like charm with no consistency, apologies with no change, vulnerability only when they’re about to lose you, connection that feels magnetic but leaves you anxious, confused, or second-guessing yourself. And chile, let me be real: your body knows. You can feel it in your gut when something’s off, even when your heart tries to rewrite the script.

What breaks my heart as a coach is watching people — good, big-hearted, soft, loyal people — shrink their standards to fit someone’s comfort. Watching them teach someone how to treat them poorly by staying after the first, second, third disrespect. Watching them call chaos “passion” because they’re so used to mistaking survival mode for love.

But here’s the truth I need you to hold onto with both hands today: love is not supposed to break you into pieces and call it growth. Love is not supposed to silence your needs, your voice, or your boundaries. Love is not supposed to feel like walking on eggshells, wondering which version of them you’re getting today.

The deepest work you will ever do is asking yourself, “Why am I holding onto someone who keeps dropping me?” Is it fear? Is it scarcity? Is it that old wound inside you that says, “If I can make them love me, it proves I’m enough?” That right there — that’s where the healing starts, not with them, but with you.

Tonight, I want you to sit in this: Red flags aren’t meant to be decoded. They’re meant to be discerned. You don’t need another sign, another “talk,” another excuse. You need the courage to believe that letting go is not failure — it’s freedom.

Baby, you are allowed to walk away. You are allowed to want more. You are allowed to break a cycle that your past self didn’t know how to. And when you do? You don’t just save yourself from another heartbreak — you save yourself from abandoning your own damn heart.

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With hard truth, soft love, and a hand on your back,
Coach G
@ProvokeChange
Chiiiile Please Blog